Finding Motivation
Le Col asked where I find the motivation to train during winter? I gave them the short answer, but on reflection, I think there are few more layers to peel back:
“Cycling is my way of finding order within a chaotic world. With all the moving components in my life, exciting or daunting, my morning ride balances and charges my mind - so I can tackle the chaos head-on. ”
Here’s the directors cut:
My need for order and control is a compulsion. My morning ride is inevitable, not a choice or something that requires motivation.
“Each day the sun will rise, the sun will set, and I will ride my bike. ”
However, under the current circumstances, I am without my ride companions. The motivation to 'pile on the hurt' has to come from within.
On weekdays, I train indoors and follow structured sessions - to optimise my time and manage my full-on schedule.
Most days, I wake up ready and raring for the fight (god I love cycling), but sometimes, my body or brain feel deeply fatigued. Getting started isn't an issue, but it can be hard to summon the motivation to train hard, hit the numbers and endure more pain when your head and legs want to ride steady.
That little voice in my head is fear of failure. It takes courage to step-up and give the session everything. I silence my objections by drawing strength from my heroes.
“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”
When my leg speed starts to drop - I imagine Cav is on my wheel during the 2011 World Championships and expects a tow to the line. I kick again and finish the interval.
I peel off the front. My turn is over and I need to recover before the next one. My session becomes a team pursuit and I’m clinging to the wheel in front. I can’t let the team down.
I'm shaking off Wilco Kelderman on the Stelvio to move Tao into 3rd overall at the Giro.
I'm chasing down Mavi Garcia's five-minute gap heading towards the Piazza del Campo.
I create whatever narrative I need to get through the effort.
Without my road companions, heroes give me strength in solidarity. To me, a hero isn't someone who wins freely - a hero is someone who overcomes the odds, dedicates themselves to a cause and rides with heart.
I respect the combativity award most of all.
“Success is not achieved by winning all the time. Real success comes when we rise after we fall.”
Take a look at Sir Brad’s career; it took a lifetime of dedication and setbacks before he reached his full potential. That's why I choose to wear the Le Col by Wiggins collection, it gives me strength, like a suit of armour.
2012 rekindled my love of cycling after years of just riding around in circles. I would not be who I am today without that moment of inspiration. Through my role at Sky, I went on to work with Team Sky and Team Wiggins throughout our sponsorship. Having Brad's name on my shoulders is an acknowledgement.
“Gareth, you are too hard on yourself. Why not just give yourself a steady day if you’re not up for a suffer-fest? ”
If I quit today - what’s to stop me quitting tomorrow? I am not afraid of failure. I am afraid of letting go.
“You don’t lose if you get knocked down; you lose if you stay down.”
I have worked hard to get where I am today. I have people in my life who look to me for strength, so I must lead by example. I have a sense of responsibility.
“As long as I breathe, I attack.”
- Bernard Hinault
As long as I breathe, I attack myself. Psychoanalyse me all you like, but this is who I am. I often get called ‘a machine’ - a great compliment in a cycling context, but a painfully accurate description of my personality. Without my road companions, I am becoming more machine-like by the day - they bring out the human side of me.
“There are billions of people in the world, and every one of them is special. No one else in the world is like you.”
I am content to train for progress in this current world, it’s not always fun, but it’s necessary to prepare for the future. A sense of accomplishment is all I need to get me through. I'm setting the groundwork for when I can ride in a paceline with my clubmates, disappear in the iconic mountains of the Tour de France, beat my time up Sa Calobra in Mallorca, cycle over to the Wiltshire countryside to meet my dad and spend the whole day cycling, eating cake and overdosing on caffeine.
Until then, I find joy in the little everyday moments, coffee in bed with Becky, watching a kingfisher hunt in our local pond, cooking and experimenting in the kitchen.
I have so many memories of incredible road cycling adventures. I don't like to live in the past because I know the best is yet to come. I am preparing myself for the endless road ahead, and when it comes, I will be ready, I will be strong, I will be grateful.
Every great cyclist is just a bad cyclist that never gave up. I realise that my name isn’t going down in the history books, but I can achieve and experience great things in my own definition.
We will get through this. Keep fighting.
Gareth Winter - Cyclist, Le Col Ambassador.
